Whiskey Philosopher Pillows

'Medical bourbon - that's what we need.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Join me in a Martini?

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

"You don't whisper anymore."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

"Whiskey...Leave the bottle."

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

Milton wonders if it would be possible to substitute scotch and sex for tea and sympathy.

'The first cocktail.'

"I was surprised myself, but living apart, seeing other people, and having virtually nothing to do with each other actually has made our marriage stronger."

"Your idea is strong. Really strong. But I've gotta ask myself, is it too much espresso for a decaf world?"

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'If you don't start feeling better in 24 hours, pour yourself a tall scotch.'

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

Bar Therapy

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

The Angel's Share

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

Continental Drift.

"Yes, I'm the Cowardly Lion, and I want a double shot of single malt courage for the Yellow Brick Road."

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

"So, Ben, what do you want to be when you stop sponging off your parents?"