Beverage Philosophers Pillows

"Alcoholic? The way you say it, you make it sound like an insult."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'The secret to life, my friend, is hoppiness!'

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"A sentimental journey of a thousand miles begins with the first martini."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

Men gossiping

"If it's a series of patterned clicks, I'm not here."

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

ONE HORSE TOWN

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'They're not beer stains. This is actually a 'Rorschach test' patterned shirt.'

'Man. Piltdown Man.'

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Brickie's Mate

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"How is the dollar trading against the Martini today, Jack?"

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'