Connoisseur Of Witticisms Pillows

'Yes, we made something better than sliced bread and built a better mousetrap, but maybe R&D needs new blood.'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'... But, wouldn't that be kind of like, cannibalism?'

Sharp Eyes

"My bouche was not amused."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

Pressing Problem

"What does 'inexplicable' mean..?"

Frock Coat

Witty T-Shirt Guy

'Actually, I find the destroying more satisfying than the nation-building.'

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

"You're definitely going to need an extraction."

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

Warning Wisecracks or good-natured barbs alcohol maybe hazardous to your health,

You heard of the 'drugs tsar' and the 'fat tsar'...well this is the new 'waiting room tsar!'

School of Comparative Anatomy

New Shoes.

"It's not just his rapier wit that intimidates."

Liquor is legal, not compulsory.

Give a weed an inch and it'll take a yard.

"When did we go from being edgy to being cranky?"

Golden handshake old redundancy port.

People who love the supine position tend to lie down on the job.

'He'll want you to try the Winelich maneuver first, instead of the Heimlich -- it brings up the food, but leaves the wine.'

The man of the hour is the guy whose wife asked him to wait a minute.

"Heh heh heh!"

'What the heck did I do wrong?'

'At $87,000, I'd say this comes from the artist's I'm-milking-this-for-all-I-can Period.'

I've started so I'll finish...

Life begins at forty? - That's when my arthritis kicked in.