Witticism Collector Pillows

Life begins at forty? - That's when my arthritis kicked in.

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

The one thing about a queue is it keeps everyone in line.

Gossip-hearing something you like about someone you don't.

People who love the supine position tend to lie down on the job.

"What does 'inexplicable' mean..?"

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

"It would appear they worshipped the almighty dollar."

The water desk

'Thanks for not asking for a rise.'

A good executive is known by the company he keeps solvent.

'Did you bring any money? - Enlightenment doesn't grow on trees, you know!'

Pressing Problem

Witty T-Shirt Guy

'Yes, we made something better than sliced bread and built a better mousetrap, but maybe R&D needs new blood.'

"Gone for a P."

Trending wise.

Abstract art proves that things can be as bad as they look.

"Remember, I've got the Dog Catcher on speed dial."

Cosmetics keep men from reading between the lines.

Hit by corona.

Liquor is legal, not compulsory.

"Why are you giving them whiskey?"

'Nice try, but I've heard the 'static cling' shoplifting defense before.'

Give a weed an inch and it'll take a yard.

'Cake philosophy'

The man of the hour is the guy whose wife asked him to wait a minute.

Technological Advances and the Experience of Age.

"That one I could never sell. It's stolen."

W M. Beemers Adages

'At $87,000, I'd say this comes from the artist's I'm-milking-this-for-all-I-can Period.'

Doubt makes the mountain that faith can make disappear.

It's smart never to forget your amnesia.

Today's memoir is more of a who dunit?