Lovers Of Witticism Pillows

Right Of Entry

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

Czarcasm

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Government Offices / In tray, No Exit tray.

Generic Store: Sign in Window

Jack in the box on strike.

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Sharp Eyes

'The secret of life has been unknowable ever since we assigned it to a committee.'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"Stop calling everything Kafka-esque

Witty T-Shirt Guy

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

Pressing Problem

Frock Coat

"What does 'inexplicable' mean..?"

'You've a broken lamp and your underlay's dangerously worn.'

G.K. Chesterton.

Coping with Normalcy

'Down here, greed is totally unregulated.'

'Yes, we made something better than sliced bread and built a better mousetrap, but maybe R&D needs new blood.'

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

"What keeps me going? The tightening feeling in my chest that if I stop, I'll die."

"Hey! I was looking all over for you. You have the wrong piece of paper."

'Dear Sir. Not much a letter, is it?'

Cosmetics keep men from reading between the lines.

'Give me your bag Oscar, if you want to do the genius gag.'

Liquor is legal, not compulsory.

"He's been talking to that cat again!"