Whimsical Dealmaker Gifts

'Make it seven beans and you got yourself a deal.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

"I'd prefer a win-win solution – but I'm open to just a win."

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"Monsieur Proust, we would like to discuss product placement for one of our cakes...."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

Just Merged.

'Everything is negotiable, including my integrity.'

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

Garage Sales Anonymous

"From now on we’ll no longer pay your trucking company for driving for us. We’d like to be paid by you because you’re allowed to transport our great products!"

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

"Instead of BOGOFS, I'm going to implement FUCOFS."

"Darby, Bandit, Piper & Spike - Dogs."

"And this graph illustrates how our merger talks are going with Behemoth Industries."