Whimsy Negotiator Gifts

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

'I think we should also agree not to go to sleep horny.'

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

"You tell me where you hid the remote and I'll tell you where I hid your phone."

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

"Another day in paradise."

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

"Mostly Mozart, nothing. It's all Mozart or no Mozart."

'Make it seven beans and you got yourself a deal.'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

"I'm withholding sex until you have sex with me."

"I promise to listen to you if you promise to shut up!"

"I'll help you find where you buried your bones, but I get a 5% finder's fee."

"We always lose these staring contests. Their top negotiator has no eyelids!"