Quirky Negotiator Gifts

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

'I think we should also agree not to go to sleep horny.'

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

"Tough group."

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

"You tell me where you hid the remote and I'll tell you where I hid your phone."

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

"I promise to listen to you if you promise to shut up!"

"I'm withholding sex until you have sex with me."

"I'll help you find where you buried your bones, but I get a 5% finder's fee."

'I can't make this decision for you. Let greed be your guide.'

'This is your list for Santa?? A corvette? A 50' TV?. . . If you don't become an ambulance chasing lawyer. . . you've missed your calling.'

"I guess this is about as hostile as we can make this takeover."

Subway rider holds onto man's tie.

"We always lose these staring contests. Their top negotiator has no eyelids!"