Tough Negotiator Gifts

"No need to shake hands on the deal. A squint and scowl are sufficient."

"...And management said it was their final offer and if I didn't like it, I could go to hell! So, here I am!"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

Changing Minds

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

"But it will never get better if you picket"

Boss, I've got a new idea. And it will totally empower on-demand collaboration and idea-sharing. Not again. It'll synergistically maintain error-free catalysts for change, while progressively meshing stand-alone methods of reconceptualization. Look, I've already told you. You're not getting a raise, not matter how much business jargon you use. But an extra $2 an hour would dramatically generate error-free opportunities for a tax deduction. No means no.

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

Danny reminds his dad that he had forgotten to pay him for raking the yard.

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

"Our max is six M&Ms for poop on the potty but try to hold her to three."

Unison plans strikes

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

"Tough group."

Agreeing to Disagree Mediators...Open.

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."