Shrewd Negotiator Gifts

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

Soooo, you want to play hardball.

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

Agreeing to Disagree Mediators...Open.

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

Insurance Company representative with rabbi to lawyer and client: 'I brought hiim along to assure you we would negotiate in good faith.'

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."

"Another day in paradise."

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

"Mostly Mozart, nothing. It's all Mozart or no Mozart."

'Okay, Mum said no, but if we can get to Dad before she has time to brief him, we could still turn this into a yes.'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

David meets Goliath's lawyer.

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"

'The last walk-out was very painful for me. I suffered a fractured bonus.'