Tough Negotiator Pillows

"No need to shake hands on the deal. A squint and scowl are sufficient."

"...And management said it was their final offer and if I didn't like it, I could go to hell! So, here I am!"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

Changing Minds

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"But it will never get better if you picket"

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

"Tough group."

Unison plans strikes

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

Agreeing to Disagree Mediators...Open.

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

Insurance Company representative with rabbi to lawyer and client: 'I brought hiim along to assure you we would negotiate in good faith.'