Trusty Negotiator Pillows

"It's a deal, but just to be on the safe side let's have our lawyers look at this handshake."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

Agreeing to Disagree Mediators...Open.

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

Insurance Company representative with rabbi to lawyer and client: 'I brought hiim along to assure you we would negotiate in good faith.'

"You tell me where you hid the remote and I'll tell you where I hid your phone."

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

David meets Goliath's lawyer.

"I'll help you find where you buried your bones, but I get a 5% finder's fee."

'This is your list for Santa?? A corvette? A 50' TV?. . . If you don't become an ambulance chasing lawyer. . . you've missed your calling.'

"I guess this is about as hostile as we can make this takeover."

'I can't make this decision for you. Let greed be your guide.'

'I'll compromise. I'll admit I'm wrong if you admit I'm right.'

'I'm going for a plea bargain. Right now, I'm accused of being a lazy slug. But if I plead guilty, I might get it reduced to the lesser charge of malingering.'