Quirky Negotiator Pillows

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

"Tough group."

'I think we should also agree not to go to sleep horny.'

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"You tell me where you hid the remote and I'll tell you where I hid your phone."

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

"I promise to listen to you if you promise to shut up!"

"I'm withholding sex until you have sex with me."

M.D. I hope you brought more candy --- Your HMO just raised you co-pay.

"I'll help you find where you buried your bones, but I get a 5% finder's fee."

'This is your list for Santa?? A corvette? A 50' TV?. . . If you don't become an ambulance chasing lawyer. . . you've missed your calling.'

"I guess this is about as hostile as we can make this takeover."

'Keep an eye on Jimmy the Shark during today's meeting. You can always tell if he's planning a double-cross by the way he fidgets with his iPhone.'

"We always lose these staring contests. Their top negotiator has no eyelids!"

Subway rider holds onto man's tie.