Dogged Negotiator Gifts

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

'Just sign your approval for the heliport and we can both go about our business.'

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"Sit!"

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

"Tough group."

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

Insurance Company representative with rabbi to lawyer and client: 'I brought hiim along to assure you we would negotiate in good faith.'

'If you let me read the SPORTS section, I just may consider moving.'

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."

"There, are you happy?"

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

'I'd like to get a new cat but I have a husband.'

"I'll help you find where you buried your bones, but I get a 5% finder's fee."

'This is your list for Santa?? A corvette? A 50' TV?. . . If you don't become an ambulance chasing lawyer. . . you've missed your calling.'

"If we are going to co-habit, then this is a list of my demands."

"If I take you to the park, will you tell me where you buried my 9-iron?"

"We always lose these staring contests. Their top negotiator has no eyelids!"

'I can't make this decision for you. Let greed be your guide.'