Naughty Negotiator Gifts

If you pony is difficult to catch...take a good supply of lump sugar with you...and eat as much of it as you can.

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

"Have your people call my people."

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

"Then he slammed the door on me!" "Not the closing you were hoping for."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"And keep in mind that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. Discussion?"

"I'm an expert in crisis management, I've got three daughters!"

"Before we begin, we'd like to remind you that we're an employee owned company."

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

"Your interest in the salary makes me wonder how 'self-motivated' you really are."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

'My final offer.'

"I'm glad to see we're all on the same page, but let's try not to tear it."

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

'If negotiations sour, throw a handful in his eyes.'