Negotiation Nerd Gifts

Come over here.

"Oh, dear, I'm afraid you've backed me into a corner."

"Then he slammed the door on me!" "Not the closing you were hoping for."

"Just sign here - yes, in blood."

'Since I plan on working for your company for the next 20 years, I was hoping to get all my paychecks up front.'

'We're agreed then - no more purring or tail wagging until our demands are met.'

'We'll email the new offer just to make sure you get it.'

The peace talks collapsed when the dogs insisted the sandbox had to go out in the hall.

"God, if you get me back to shore, I'll give you everything I own. Okay, fifty percent of everything. How about ten percent plus community work..."

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

"I'm glad to see we're all on the same page, but let's try not to tear it."

"Well, so much for conflict resolution!"

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Already sold your soul to the company? Listen, I'll have my people talk to their people."

'I'll be yours if you restore England to its former glory.'

"My client is willing to settle. Do you still have the leg?"

Stairway of Success

"Have your people call my people."

"Couldn't I do a couple of hundred hours of community service instead?"

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"Mr. Babcock is a man of few words."

'The Nerve of Obama! Telling me not to call his bluff!'

'How'd the negotiations go? Take a wild guess.'

'And finally, on these wage demands I give no quarter; a dime is my last offer.'

'My advice to you is to work on your negotiating skills!'

The deal's off. I can't work with people who high-five.

Sanders and Hillary join forces

"It's a deal. You step out of your bubble and I'll step out of mine."

"This is what happens when you award the contract to the Cheapest Tender."

"I'll give you £100. No one's going to want it now that my husband's sat in it."

"Oh, sure, all ideas are still on the table. But, the idea we'll be using is mine."

"And keep in mind that the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked. Discussion?"

"The light at the end of the tunnel just got switched off!"

Pedro Sanchez fails to form government