Playful Negotiator Gifts

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

'You want me to cook dinner, eh? -- what's my motivation?'

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

M.D. I hope you brought more candy --- Your HMO just raised you co-pay.

'If you raise my allowance, I'll move you up a few places on my links page.'

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'Jack wants to stay home and rad books, and I wanted him to take up roller skating, so we compromised.'

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"I usually only fist-bump on the first deal but what the heck."

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

'I think we should also agree not to go to sleep horny.'

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

Agreeing to Disagree Mediators...Open.

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

"You tell me where you hid the remote and I'll tell you where I hid your phone."

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

David meets Goliath's lawyer.