Charming Negotiator Gifts

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

Why we need poetry. . .

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'Hello, handsome - is that a Billy Cotton ringtone?'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

Danny reminds his dad that he had forgotten to pay him for raking the yard.

"I usually only fist-bump on the first deal but what the heck."

'I think we should also agree not to go to sleep horny.'

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

Social butterfly

Agreeing to Disagree Mediators...Open.

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

"Our max is six M&Ms for poop on the potty but try to hold her to three."

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

Insurance Company representative with rabbi to lawyer and client: 'I brought hiim along to assure you we would negotiate in good faith.'

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'