Charming Negotiator T-Shirts

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

Why we need poetry. . .

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"I usually only fist-bump on the first deal but what the heck."

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

Social butterfly

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

'I think we should also agree not to go to sleep horny.'

Agreeing to Disagree Mediators...Open.

'Ready for your first lesson in negotiations?'

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

'Charles, we hired you distinctly because you're a people person.'

Insurance Company representative with rabbi to lawyer and client: 'I brought hiim along to assure you we would negotiate in good faith.'

"We're offering twenty million plus incentives over a four-year period, Mrs. Morton. Can Timmy come out and play?"

"I don’t know if this is just the cashews talking, but I find you absolutely delightful."

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'