Friendly Negotiator Gifts

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'He wants to close the deal with a handshake. What do you think about that?'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"If you're really interested, talk to someone at corporate. They own my soul."

"At least we agree to disagree."

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"