Fashionable Negotiator Gifts

"I usually only fist-bump on the first deal but what the heck."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

"Before we begin, we'd like to remind you that we're an employee owned company."

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

"Your interest in the salary makes me wonder how 'self-motivated' you really are."

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

'My final offer.'

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

'Sir, for Heavens' sake, stop screaming! It's just Mr Winkleberger asking for a raise!'

'If negotiations sour, throw a handful in his eyes.'

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"The union is objecting to our 'grotesquely inflated' wages, do you think they'd settle for 'outrageously inflated' instead?"