Fashionable Conversationalist Gifts

PSA Banter.

Why we need poetry. . .

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

Crow and fox

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

Snow is falling...

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Jokes machine.

The Algonquin Round Table

"So, what is your star sign?"

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

Bat out of Hell

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."