Playful Conversationalist Gifts

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

Do you suspect me of ulterior motives? Let's put it this way: You're not a suspect; you're a person of disinterest.

How's the chat room going? I just had my fifteen minutes of flame.

"I'm pretty sure you have the wrong number, but I'll tell you what I'm wearing anyway."

"Well, then, how about letting our dogs have sex?"

'Great lunch box.'

'We're rich! We're rich! My mum's got goldstones!'

'I take after my Daddy - He's a confirmed batchelor!'

'When you said that you were a kidney, heart and liver specialist. . .'

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"No, this isn't the Marriage Guidance Bureau, but don't hang up, I love a steamy story,"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

PSA Banter.

Why we need poetry. . .

Annual run-off at the mouth.

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

Crow and fox

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'