Lighthearted Conversationalist Gifts

PSA Banter.

'I'm feeling marvelous, Ian. No sobering thoughts, please.'

Why we need poetry. . .

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Crow and fox

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

Jokes machine.

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

The Algonquin Round Table

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

Bat out of Hell

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"So, what is your star sign?"

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

Quizzo tonight! Win a tee shirt! Trivia is my middle name, but I have all the tee shirts I need. So, tell me something: Are there Quizzo groupies?