Lighthearted Conversationalist T-Shirts

PSA Banter.

'I'm feeling marvelous, Ian. No sobering thoughts, please.'

Why we need poetry. . .

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

Crow and fox

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Jokes machine.

"Oh Gregori! You tell such funny stories!"

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

The Algonquin Round Table

"Sucker!" / "Stirrer!"

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

"So, what is your star sign?"

Bat out of Hell

"Tell her I'm exercising my twenty-first amendment rights."

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."