Flirty Conversationalist T-Shirts

"What if I tried again with an English accent?"

'Wow, how tall are you?. . . Let's talk about the eight inches.'

'That is a coincidence - I am half Scottish!'

You remind me of someone I once pulled from the rubble: Pickup lines for heroes.

'Testify here often?'

' Buy a lady a gallon of unleaded...? '

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

PSA Banter.

Why we need poetry. . .

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Happy anniversary, dear… 'happy wife, happy life!'" "That's because nothing rhymes with 'happy husband.'"

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Remember my mum? I took that photo a week before she died. There's one of me...that was a good haircut.

'That's the corkage fee you wanted to ask about, Jack, not the cleavage fee!'

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Darling, do you ever worry that we're becoming some sort of Merchant-Ivory production?"

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

Crow and fox

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

Kid to kid: 'I can't be wearing out my welcome. I didn't even step on it.'

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"Are we ‘still working’? No, we’re still eating. You, however, are ‘still working’—now get lost!"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

'I do so much better with women when I quit trying to understand them and just repeat what they say to each other.'

Jokes machine.

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"The most obvious side-effect of having a chip implanted in my brain is a constant craving for onion dip."

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."