Persistent Negotiator Gifts

'When it comes to giving a bonus...some people will stop at nothing.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'Miss Finch, find out what she does over there and offer her twice as much to do it over here.'

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

'Duly noted. Now, shall we move on or does anyone else feel the need to have a conniption?'

"Let me get this, but keep in mind that you'll pay for it in other, more subtle ways later on."

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

"Finally we have something in common...mutual distrust."

"Before we begin, we'd like to remind you that we're an employee owned company."

Sure, I'll sit, but I want half the treat upfront.

"Well, so far I'm managing to stay above the fray."

"Just to get the negotiations off on the right foot, I don't intent to concede anything."

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

"Your interest in the salary makes me wonder how 'self-motivated' you really are."

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"All this is mine now! I had my lawyers declare you incompetent!"

'My final offer.'

'Sir, for Heavens' sake, stop screaming! It's just Mr Winkleberger asking for a raise!'

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

"You should hire me now, before my skills completely deteriorate."

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

"The union is objecting to our 'grotesquely inflated' wages, do you think they'd settle for 'outrageously inflated' instead?"

"Marriage, mortal combat. Tomato, tomahto."

'If negotiations sour, throw a handful in his eyes.'

'Thanks for coming. Now, let's see if we can bring this negotiation to closure.'

"He's right, but he didn't have to rub our faces in it."

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

Boss, I've got a new idea. And it will totally empower on-demand collaboration and idea-sharing. Not again. It'll synergistically maintain error-free catalysts for change, while progressively meshing stand-alone methods of reconceptualization. Look, I've already told you. You're not getting a raise, not matter how much business jargon you use. But an extra $2 an hour would dramatically generate error-free opportunities for a tax deduction. No means no.

"It's that man who's determined to see you, sir."