Whimsical Negotiator Gifts

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

"We always lose these staring contests. Their top negotiator has no eyelids!"

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

Trojan Hurdler.

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"I just called to say I love you, but come to think of it - can I borrow some money?"

"It's a deal, I trade you two of your lunchroom duties if you take my field trip duty?"

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

Cat chess

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

'Once they noticed your tail wagging, they stopped upping their offer.'

'I'm afraid I can't do business with you, Miss Carstairs -- you're just too damned cute.'

"At least have the decency to send her a text to tell her you're not interested."

'I think we should also agree not to go to sleep horny.'

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

"You tell me where you hid the remote and I'll tell you where I hid your phone."

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"Dad, I want another dog for my birthday." "NO." "OK. I want a stripper girlfriend for my birthday." "What kind of dog do you want."

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

'Make it seven beans and you got yourself a deal.'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

"As you know, Ed, my pockets are considerably deeper than yours. Therefore, in addition to my share I'll be needing a percentage of yours."

"I promise to listen to you if you promise to shut up!"

"I'm withholding sex until you have sex with me."

"I think I have allergies to something in this room."

Subway rider holds onto man's tie.

'Maybe we can work out an arrangement if you promise to take me to Disneyland.'