Quirky Dealmaker Gifts

'You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours!'

The New Hollywood Mystique.

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

"I'd prefer a win-win solution – but I'm open to just a win."

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

'Nobody gets to the point quicker than Ron!'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

'Everything is negotiable, including my integrity.'

We're looking at a six figure return. Unfortunately, they're all zeros.

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

Garage Sales Anonymous

"From now on we’ll no longer pay your trucking company for driving for us. We’d like to be paid by you because you’re allowed to transport our great products!"

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

'Now that we've lulled you with our no-haggle sales policy, our finance manager will apply heavy arm twisting for dealer add-ons.'

"And this graph illustrates how our merger talks are going with Behemoth Industries."

" know a bargain when I see one!"

'Make it seven beans and you got yourself a deal.'

Hostile take-over.

"The usual day. We took over somebody, then somebody took us over."

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'