Deal-making Aficionado Gifts

'The business is worth $125,000, tops. We expect Google to offer us three billion.'

Hostile take-over.

"Beans! I got a bag of magic beans!"

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

"I always cry at mergers."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"The vote is tied. Half of us think the proposed plan is astoundingly asinine, and the other half finds it stupid beyond belief. Let's try to find a middle ground here, people!"

Illogic Tree

'Someone come and mediate our argument about mediation!'

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

'Well, it looks like the 'yea' has it.'

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

Soooo, you want to play hardball.

"So...were they open to negotiations?"

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

"A big decision has to be made. Assemble all my 'yes' men."

'Water? Still? Sparkling? Mountain? Hill? Bottle? Tap? Warm? Cold? Ice? Lemon?'

Gross Outrage.

"I lost my management position in waste control because I refused to make trashy decisions."

Theresa May tries to renegotiate one last time

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just picking up the pieces after a traumatic investment."