Deal-making Expert Gifts

Had the ultimate dealmaker finally met his match...?

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

"I always cry at mergers."

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"It sounds good so far, are there any strings attached?"

'That's the way I remember him...always cooking up a deal.'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

"I was hoping we could avoid the middleman"

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

'The business is worth $125,000, tops. We expect Google to offer us three billion.'

'It's not a stick-up, it's a merger offer.'

The aspirin deal has given him a headache.

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

'I love it. It's a win-lose situation.'

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

"For goodness sake, wait till he's signed the McKimson deal!"

'I think you should know I'm listening to offers from other Santas.'