Deal-making Expert Pillows

Had the ultimate dealmaker finally met his match...?

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

"I always cry at mergers."

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

'He's out massaging,manipulating and monopolising.'

'Why don't we try a renegotiated buyout offer before we go with the Plague of Rabid Bats thing.'

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

'In conclusion, the supplier who can repeat this phrase fastest with least mistakes wins the catering contract...'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

"It sounds good so far, are there any strings attached?"

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

'That's the way I remember him...always cooking up a deal.'

"I was hoping we could avoid the middleman"

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

The aspirin deal has given him a headache.

'It's not a stick-up, it's a merger offer.'

"I wasn't talking in my sleep. I was negotiating."

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

'I love it. It's a win-lose situation.'

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just picking up the pieces after a traumatic investment."

'I think you should know I'm listening to offers from other Santas.'

"For goodness sake, wait till he's signed the McKimson deal!"