Deal-making Daredevil Gifts

'Nobody gets to the point quicker than Ron!'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I'm 60-40 in favor of the 60.'

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

Businessman at the deep end.

"Heads, we go with the analytics. Tails, we don't."

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

"I'd prefer a win-win solution – but I'm open to just a win."

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'He's chasing the market.'

'Then it's agreed - we all keep our arms raised until someone blinks.'

"Don't go there, it'll cost you an arm and a leg to lose the shirt off your back."

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

Just Merged.

'Everything is negotiable, including my integrity.'

We're looking at a six figure return. Unfortunately, they're all zeros.

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

'The business is worth $125,000, tops. We expect Google to offer us three billion.'

'I hate long meetings so in order to save time can we agree to talk at once?'

Garage Sales Anonymous

"From now on we’ll no longer pay your trucking company for driving for us. We’d like to be paid by you because you’re allowed to transport our great products!"

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

"And this graph illustrates how our merger talks are going with Behemoth Industries."

" know a bargain when I see one!"

'Make it seven beans and you got yourself a deal.'