Devilish Dealmakers Gifts

'In case you're wondering, it'll hold up in court.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

Do you want to win the game or my business?

"You are aware that we try to make money here, yes?"

"He'll never win this negotiation. He's saddled with numbers...but we have anecdotes."

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'First, the Rules of Engagement for this meeting ...'

It's a deal. You give me five analysts, three pundits, seven technicians and a soothsayer. I give you six experts, five professors, four consultants and a prognosticator.

...and if the Chairman rings, find out who he is.

'No hostile takeover bids beyond this point.'

'The trick is to be gentle yet firm in negotiations. I prefer soft money and hard liquor.'

"Remember, negotiating is like buying fruit. You don't know what you'll get until you squeeze 'em a bit."

'Nobody gets to the point quicker than Ron!'

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

We're looking at a six figure return. Unfortunately, they're all zeros.

"Don't anybody move: this is a merger."

"Souls are a dime a dozen. The best I can give you is ten free dance lessons."

Unexpected Merger

'Sorry for interrupting. I didn't realize you were still trying to hammer out an agreement.'

"I told you negotiations would be more fun without a battery of lawyers."

'So, anyone have any idea how we go about explaining how we made a hostile takeover bid for one of our own subsidiaries?'

'Would you like to see my sales presentation from where you're sitting? Or would you feel more comfortable in a head lock?'

Unglamourous job, but with massive rewards. How about the city?

'Now that we've lulled you with our no-haggle sales policy, our finance manager will apply heavy arm twisting for dealer add-ons.'

London underground talks continued

'I think you should know I'm listening to offers from other Santas.'

'Make it seven beans and you got yourself a deal.'

"Then it's agreed. Watson, Smith, Teller, and Wilson go to Heaven; Jones, Paducci, and Horner go to Hell; and Fenton and Miller go to arbitration."

"The usual day. We took over somebody, then somebody took us over."

Hostile take-over.

"Well looking at your sales figures, you really seem to be on fire at the moment!"

"Perhaps we can arrive a a mutually beneficial arrangement?"

"After this I'll just need you to remove the watermark from your soul."