Deal Maker Humorist Gifts

'You can't expect fame and fortune from selling just your fillet of sole to the devil.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

The president's men

A fight in the Boardroom.

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"Any questions?"

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

Satya Nutella

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."