Deal Maker Humorist T-Shirts

'You can't expect fame and fortune from selling just your fillet of sole to the devil.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

The president's men

A fight in the Boardroom.

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

"Any questions?"

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."