Decision-making Humorist Gifts

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

Money Bar.

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

"Might you explain to me how your division managed to spend twenty-six thousand dollars on tennis balls?"

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

But under a different accounting convention ...

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

'You've been pre-approved for another credit card.'

'Instead of jail time, our head of finance chose the stock option.'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

'Can you see the future of my 401(k)?'

'Mr. Hickey really knows how to keep our stockholders meetings short and sweet!'

White Collar Crime.

The Euro - R.I.P.