Problem-solving Humorist Gifts

"We forgot to get spark plugs -- I'll drive."

'I got a good buy on it from army surplus, and it should solve my traffic problems.'

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"Four hours study and the poor love still can't decide which luxury saloon to buy for himself."

Dummies for Dummies.

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

Time management office worker

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Self Help: Get To Know Yourself/Get To Unknow Yourself

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

After talking one stranger to death, Velma starts in on the next.

"The thing with Sudoku is I can never find the right words to fit."

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

Although a rare sight in the old west, the secluded ice rinks brought out a side of the lone passing-by cowboy, that even they themselves barely knew existed.

Steak Lovers.

"My records show we sent your bonus. Have you looked on your roof?"

"Could you put me 'on hold' Mom? I could use a hug."

"Look, you always hated the wicker furniture and bamboo is scarce, so consider it a win-win."

Convergent Fauna

Death model.

'Don't worry! They're vegetarian!'

Artist, sitting in front of a sign identifying a bridge as a draw bridge, draws the bridge.

'Violin in the shape of a nude.'