Deal-making Jokester Gifts

'The chloride co. wants to merge with us. They think we can make salt together.'

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

'And I see you've listed opposable thumbs as your greatest asset...'

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

'How are you at takeovers?'

"I have your evaluation...great teamwork, great morale...basically, you're a good dog."

"The GOOD news is that customers complaints are down, the BAD news is that we've got no customers."

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

'I suppose you think you're sitting there imagining me in the nude.'

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

'Make it seven beans and you got yourself a deal.'

One of Faust's lesser-known bargains.

'Yes, that IS a lot of money for just a spay...

'We used to be too big to fail... Now we're just the right size to fail.'

"The franchising opportunities could be unlimited!"

'Wish I had taken the HIGH road!'

'Maybe we can work out an arrangement if you promise to take me to Disneyland.'

"I don't mean to minimize your problems. That's not how I make my dough."

'When I think of all the homework my dog ate, I can hardly believe that I'm sitting at this desk.'

'Are we painting their Birthday Suits?'

"I guess this is about as hostile as we can make this takeover."

"Before negotiations begin, we'll soften them up with 15 minutes of cute cat videos."

"These are of all my affiliates."

'I'm leaving you because you know the price of everything and the value of nothing.'

'You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours!'

The New Hollywood Mystique.

Any more rude letters from you and yours won't even go into the shuffle.

"The shop was so quiet I could hear your overdraft growing."

Melvin couldn't afford a crown for his tooth so he got what he could with twenty bucks.

'As long as you're looking, let me know when the sign is right for getting paid.'

'Thanks Clyde for an entertaining evening. The forty nine cent hamburger and the ten cent tip will long live in my memory.'

'You can't expect fame and fortune from selling just your fillet of sole to the devil.'

'This is a forty-dollar value for only $39.95!'

'If it were not for my charitable contributions I wouldn't be able to stand myself.'