Business Jokester Gifts

"I have your evaluation...great teamwork, great morale...basically, you're a good dog."

"The GOOD news is that customers complaints are down, the BAD news is that we've got no customers."

'How are you at takeovers?'

"These are of all my affiliates."

'The contest brought in only twenty two wrappers...'

'And this is Mr Blagstock, our chief salesman.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'I recognize the face ... I just can't pin down the name.'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

'Don't disturb me - I'm in conference!'

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

"If you really want to get ahead you'll need to stop licking your own butt and start licking mine."

STRIP Hambone: Businessman in hospital with his computer

He likes to make work fun

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'

'Tell your boss we represent an independent watchdog committee.'