Corporate Jokester Gifts

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

"First, as an ice breaker. . . how many of you have tattoos?"

"He's our new expert in logistics and 24 hour global delivery systems."

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."

'Thank you, Leo. Nothing like a roar to get us going in the morning.'

'Strategic plan B: We chop down all the office plants and grow vegetables.'

"I wonder if there are any biscuit left?"

'Good God Wilson, is that you in there?'

'Looks like Korgan's pie-in-the-sky idea got a pie-in-the-face reception.'

"Tell the board that as long as I am the CEO I make the tough decisions."

'We set this up to save space but the bottom employee said the upper's feet smelled 'out of this world'.'

'Salary requirement? -- Just keep me out of the top two percent.'

'In dog years, I have seniority.'

...Raymond Sinclair was proud that it only took him ten seconds to completely train the C.E.O's niece for her summer job.'

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'

'These client crackers are as much fun as animal crackers were when I was a kid.'

'Dress down Friday might not work for your company...'

'Keep me in the loop, Jenkins - Unless I can be indicted for it.'

'I blame myself for not being able to think of anyone else to blame.'

"Oh, he talks the talk, but he just doesn't walk the walk."

"And this is my junior partner, my son, Ira."

"Whoa. Nap time again. Meeting adjourned."

"Rex, I've always admired your loyalty to the firm."

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

"This little snow globe isn't just a paperweight...it was the original business model!"

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

"Our founder was a real joker. That's the first silver dollar he ever glued to the floor."

'It was at this point that I insisted all employees eat their vegetables.'

"Bad news, Mitchelson. We're downsizing."

"Absolutely, Senator, in my mind it was always my country first, and obscene profits second."

"I'm moving all the money from our rainy day account into a slush fund."

"I'm saving all my work till they force me to do it."

"I hope you love kids - there goes your boss."

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

'You could do with a bigger office - there's hardly room to swing a fat-cat in here.'