Wheat Avoidance Advocate Gifts

'I stand here before you with a heavy heart. There is a growing wheat intolerance in our land, and that makes my stomach turn...But get this! They say that's what we're doing to them!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"Steamed vegetables."

"Is there a vegan option?"

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

'Now, now...no stealing people's data until you finish your brussels sprouts.'

"And for all you people with food allergies, this next song's lyrics contain no gluten or peanuts."

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."

'Wait a second! This fish is made out of TOFU!'

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

"It's not fair that ice cream melts, but broccoli doesn't."

'Can you assure my son that you only use vegetarian sausages?'

Eat your vegetables

'Personally I wouldn't be seen dead in it.'

'What do you mean I have to eat more greens? I eat pistachio ice cream every night.'

"Sorry buddy, but we've got to reduce your cabon pawprint."

You are what you eat.

Cow charging at a woman feeding beef to Pirahnas

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'

"The vet wants me to go vegan so it's going to be catch and release for a while."

"Really, Karl! Can't I mention the high price of kohlrabi without getting a manifesto."