Wheat Avoidance Advocate T-Shirts

'I stand here before you with a heavy heart. There is a growing wheat intolerance in our land, and that makes my stomach turn...But get this! They say that's what we're doing to them!'

"Steamed vegetables."

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"Is there a vegan option?"

'Say low-cholesterol dairy-free alternative to cheese!'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'Powdery stuff? Oh, that's egg substitute, from the Vegan lobby.'

"You can't make me eat Brussel sprouts Mum: it's illegal to force-feed geese in this country!"

'It's not what you think. It's not about our liberation.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

'Extinct? Good heavens no. I'm vegan for God's sake.'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

'Now, now...no stealing people's data until you finish your brussels sprouts.'

"And for all you people with food allergies, this next song's lyrics contain no gluten or peanuts."

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."

"It's an ugly nose, but at least it gets rid of some broccoli."

How Kale Took Over the World

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

'Wait a second! This fish is made out of TOFU!'

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"Your blood sugar tested positive for fruits and vegetables."

"It's not fair that ice cream melts, but broccoli doesn't."

Eat your vegetables

'Will you stop going BAAAAA every time I eat a piece of lamb!'

'Personally I wouldn't be seen dead in it.'

'Can you assure my son that you only use vegetarian sausages?'

'What do you mean I have to eat more greens? I eat pistachio ice cream every night.'

"Sorry buddy, but we've got to reduce your cabon pawprint."

Cow charging at a woman feeding beef to Pirahnas

You are what you eat.

Diner. We'll have a hamburger and a veggie burger, please. Two burgers -- One regular and one de-calf.

'Of course I'm on a strict diet, doc! I eat vegetarian animals only!'