Whacky Story Fan Gifts

Robber running from cop hides in "whacky, waving, inflatable arm flailing tube man".

Silence of the Chickens...

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 10

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

"For drinks or dinner?"

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit

"Careful, Len. You'll spook the herd."

'Been biting drunken bitches again, have we?'

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

The Cheshire Cat drinking tea.

'I'm the good witch...this is my house made out of dental products.'

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

Gloria's life had been uneventful - until her 40th birthday, when her arms changed into swans.

'Isn't 'trolling' usually done in deep water on a boat?'

"I don't care if he did follow you home—you can't keep him!"

Trick or Treat. I got a very exclusive invitation to see the new horror movie -- it's a private screaming!

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

Scary Marshmallow Campfire Stories.

'Ah, I see a life filled with the usual cliches about black cats.'

'I finally feel I've got job security.'

'I like to start my day with a cup of Joe.'

Teacher reading.

The Neighbours from Hell....

Werehouses.

"Apologies, sir. The mansion is haunted by Randy, the master's late spaniel."

'I guess we can rule out garlic pills to control your high blood pressure.'