Funny Tale Fan Gifts

Instantly, tongue knew he was in real trouble and that all his mom's warning, hither to ignore, were true.

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

Wolf trying on sheep's clothing at a retail store.

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

"What the hell took so long?"

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Jack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill

Grimm's Reality Tales.

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

Thomas Hardy

"So you kiss me and I turn into a prince? No thanks, sweetie, I'm gay. I'm already a queen."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"The bear whose porridge was too hot...did he sue?"

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

Invisible clothes

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

'Don't touch that tooth, dad. I'm expecting the tooth fairy at any moment.'

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

Bathroom Fairy

The Impractical Guide to having a baby.