Fairy Tale Fan Gifts

'Let me guess, you're 'Sneezy'.'

'I'm arresting you for bringing the Emperor into disrepute.'

"I'm not huffing and puffing. I'm foreclosing."

The princess and the pea.

Peter Peter's House.

'Your policy does cover wind damage, but not from huffing and puffing.'

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

Three Little Pigs,Easter Bunny, Father Christmas, Humpty Dumpty, a Leprechaun, The Tooth Fairy and a Mummy settle down to watch Reality TV.

'Thanks anyway, but I'm more interested in the goose that laid the golden egg.'

'The roof needs icing.'

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

"Thank goodness you're a witch, we thought we'd stumbled on a social worker."

"Hey, it's not a race."

You can also follow me on social media websites.

The Dying Art of Storytelling

'After the big race the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

"We like you, Hatcher, and we like your work, but we've been offered magic beans."

Alas, Hansel and Gretel had left a digital trail...

Love those shoes!

"And, because a princess can't be forced to testify against her prince, they lived happily ever after."

'At The Goldilocks Hardware Emporium' Nuts and bolts that say 'Too Big,' 'Too Small,' and 'Just Right.'

Alice in Wonderland - Alice Meets the Cheshire Cat.

"...And Grandma Bear's porridge contained too many laxatives."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'Something in brick.'

'Outside of athlete's foot, ingrown toenails,fallen arches and bunions, I've never felt better.'

'You want the tooth?! You can't handle the tooth!'

'This is my forth time through the line - she can't tell us apart.'

"I keep climbing this water spout. The rain washes me out. Then out comes the sun and dries up the rain. So what do I do? I climb right back up again. Talk about a rut."

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

Witch sells poisoned apples at intermission of 'Snow White the Seven Dwarves',

Three little piggies have brick house swept away

'Snow White is the fairest of them all...But hey, you've got the biggest tits!'

'In time with us, not as fast as you bloody can!'

"Just look at the Emperors new clothes!"