Fairy Tale Enthusiast Gifts

"Did the three pigs have enough insurance to rebuild their home?"

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

'As I see it, Pinocchio was motivated by a need to prove himself, while both Hansel and Gretel were driven by an inborn rebelliousness.'

'What, no on-board movie?'

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

"So what happens if we can't meet our monthly mortgage repayments?"

'Sorry boys... your policy covers Beanstalks, Wicked Old Witches and Jolly Green Giants... but not Big Bad Wolves!'

'This is better than magic beans, Jack. It's stock in the company that makes the magic beans.'

"Don't waste your breath. We'll get them when the housing market collapses."

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'I'm afraid your house insurance didn't cover a wolf blowing it down.'

'... and they got a divorce and, due to a good prenup, they lived happily ever after.'

"In my opinion, the flimsy construction of their homes indicates the pigs' desire to be eaten."

'So we're all agreed on this final design?'

'Your policy does cover wind damage, but not from huffing and puffing.'

Crucial testimony in the case of Cinderella vs. the Association of Fairy Godmothers.

"Eventually, I'd like to see you able to put yourself back together."

'So, did you use compost or chemical fertilizers?'

The Goldilocks Flower Emporium has bouquets labeled Too Much Commitment, Too Little Commitment, and Just Right.

Three little pigs-mortgage.

"'Marry me,' said the prince. 'Oh, yes,' said the princess. All through the kingdom the people rejoiced. Stocks rallied. It would be good for the economy."

'Make it seven beans and you got yourself a deal.'

Goldilocks drives an audio tech insane.

'Money from the tooth fairy may seem like a sure bet, but it's not a good long term investment strategy.'

"She says she's got squatters rights."

"My, Grandma, what crushing debt you have."

"Global warming - the sky is falling!"

"Could you come back tomorrow Luv. I'm having a bad hair day"

"Once upon a time there was a thing called social security..."

'I can assure you Mr. Rumplestilkskin, weaving straw into gold is a skill we can certainly use...'

'You're going to have to cut out this huffing and puffing nonsense...'

'I couldn't resolve the conflict with the giant, so I severed the channels.'

"What can I tell you.. Maybe she has a beter surgeon than you.."

"Who's the fairest? Thanks to Magic Mirror Sunscreen, now anyone can be."

At the Goldilocks Air Conditioning Emporium units are labeled: 'Too Big,' 'Too Small,' and 'Just Right.'