Wellness Wits Gifts

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Try thinking about something else."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Critisize your weight.

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Hot Pie Therapy

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Yoga vs. Prosecco

Self-esteem room

Unguided imagery

Yoga classes door.

'What you seem to be suffering from is longevity.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."