Wellness Wit Gifts

Pharmacy: 'My doctor suggests a glass of wine daily- what vintage do you recommend?'

How To Flatten Your Tummy

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

"Do you guys serve beer?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

'Well, well, well...'

Snowprov

Backfire

"Your contents have shifted."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"Try thinking about something else."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Yoga Xmas Decorations

Self-esteem room

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Yoga classes door.

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Hot Pie Therapy

Unguided imagery

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'