Wellness Whiz Gifts

'I put it to you that my client did not assault you, but was in fact giving you a free demonstration of 'Indian head massage'.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'Is this still America?'

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

'Have you been working out?'

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

Nutritional Supplements.

Stop smoking,instantly.

"Frankly Mr. Watkins - all your current health issues are down to you rubbish diet..."

"I guess exercise will make me feel more energetic, but I feel like I'm wasting all my energy exercising!"

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

"Papi, this says laughter de-stresses the entire body!"

Doctor with pump: 'Hold on a second while I inflate his ego.'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"You should try yoga. It makes you relaxed, flexible and loose."

"Breathe in...now breathe out. Excellent! Just remember to keep doing that for the next few years and you'll be fine."

"There's everything you need to know about exercise in here." "Is there an osteopath's phone number in there?"

'It's good that you're taking vitamins... but you need to stop BUTTERING them.'

"Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life."

'I'm afraid your conditions shows no improvement over last time, Mr. Ferguson -- you must still be doing enjoyable things.'

'-and we offer trauma counselling at no extra cost!'

Exercise Car.

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

Hypochondria preservation and Encouragement. 'It's Terri Dinkmer. She's calling in well.'

"Um, when I said you should allow yourself a cheat day, I was referring to your diet."

'Actually, the pain is just nature's way of keeping you humble.'

'All I'm saying, Sweetheart, is that maybe you're not quite ready for the advanced yoga class!'

'The nation is evenly divided again...the red states, Atkins Diet...the blue states, South Beach.'